Change? Yeah, but how...

You know what one of the most frequent yet hardest questions I get (and ask myself) is?

It's this:

HOW?

We hear things like…

"just be more grateful"

"oh don’t take it personally"

"just let it go"

…thrown around all day long.

Maybe you’ve even said them to someone.

I certainly have in the past.

But then I remember, it’s not only very easy to say that to someone if you’re not actually in their emotional state, it’s also pretty useless, maybe even harmful?

Ouch, sorry I know - didn’t mean to throw that at you, but let’s get in deep, shall we?

Why is it not helpful at all when we tell people to “just move on already”?

Because it’s asking them to do the impossible.

Did you know that over 90% of the thoughts you have all day are the SAME?

Our brains are running repetitive loops all day long because they are wired (keyword) to predict the future based on the past.

It’s your brain’s job to keep you safe and alive (not feeling good and happy, but physically safe and alive - big difference).

Since you’re still alive  - otherwise I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be reading this - your brain has done its job and has nothing but compelling evidence that the past was “good enough” to keep your heart beating and your lungs breathing.

So why not keep firing the same information through your neural network since it seems to be working, right?

Weeelll…. not really.

By doing that you keep re-wiring (keyword, remember?) the same patterns.

Some of these patterns have led you to hearing things like…

"just be more grateful"

"oh don’t take it personally"

"just let it go"

😉

And while you may even agree with whoever is trying to be useless, I mean helpful to you, you simply can’t “not take it personally” because you’ve been firing off the same information in loops on end in your brain so that it’s hardwired (keyword, remember?) in your body.

When someone tells you to “move on / let it go / (insert your own triggering sentence)” it would be like asking you to just redirect the Panama Canal into a cute little mountain creek.

In other words, you can’t.

It's not impossible.

But it is impossible to do immediately, or even within a few days because over 90% of your thoughts are the same!!

That’s just how your brain is wired (keyword, but I think you’re starting to get that…).

However, 90% is not a 100% and this is where it’s all in your hands. You may not be able to redirect the Panama Canal into a creek but you can start to chip away on the edges of your creek and funnel more and more water down that pathway.

And THAT, my friend, means you’re changing your brain (aka re-wiring - I’m not gonna say it again but 🔑-word) which happens IMMEDIATELY.

So lean into the 10% that you actually have power over because guess what, you're changing your brain whether you like it or not (we know this because of neuroplasticity).

All you need to do (and I know it's like the hardest thing on the planet), is find ways to redirect a tiny bit of water from the Panama Canal into your mountain creek (aka believe yourself when you think a new thought or let yourself feel a new feeling) and all of a sudden you will …

"have let it go."

"moved on from it."

"feel so much more grateful."

...and no longer have to deal with people who are telling you to do any of it. 😉

But yes, IT’S SO MUCH HARDER than even I like to admit it is, which means it’s only natural to want some help with this kind of work.

Lucky for you that’s exactly what I am doing inside my coaching containers.

Book a free discovery call anytime through the link below.

(Psst. I know I technically haven't reeealllyyy told you how to do the *drum roll* rewiring which is why next week, I’ll share a story on what all of this actually looks like in your body…).

Love,

Mel

💌

Ps. All my newsletters are written by me, not AI (so please flag the typos).

😉

Pps. If you're ready to explore working together - book a discovery call HERE.