I hit a nerve

Happy second day of spring, let’s talk about being stuck.

Yes, on the day when (I wrote this) we officially leave the dead of winter behind us, the sun is getting warmer, sprouts shoot out of the earth and flowers remember their bloom, that’s when you want to talk about being stuck, Melanie??

Exactly, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

Let me tell you about the last few days I had.

It’s indeed felt “springy”, blue skies, nothing but sunshine, crisp air telling us to still bring a jacket, and I took some time to do what I love most: connect.

In the broadest of terms, yes, what I’m here to do is connect - to myself, to others, and quite importantly help you connect to you.

It’s woven in to all that I do, every time I step onto a yoga mat to practice, into a shala to teach, when I publish a poem or look into eyes in front of me, it all leads to one thing: connection.

Enough with the backstory though, how does feeling stuck show up here?

Has it ever happened to you that everywhere you went and everyone you talked to just seemed to bring up the same topic again?

That was the case this week while I connected with so many dear ones (see what I did there? This is how it all started...).

You won’t be shocked to read that I consider myself a spiritual person, but this was, uhmm, a bit “in your face”, even for me…

It’s like, ok fine, I get it, I have to talk about this, so here we go.

Mel, wait - can you explain what actually happened?

It all started with these vivid experiences being described to me, ones that feel all too familiar for too many of us.

Days that are so full, all you want to do is cry by the end of them. From the moment you wake up, it’s go time to get everything (and everyone) ready, dressed, fed, and presentable (whatever the F that means).

Everything seems to take longer than you had planned (and hoped) it would, eating away at that precious pocket of time you had so aspirationally reserved for yourself later in the day (even if slightly pressured into as “self-care” since that’s what a balanced human is supposed to do, Instagram says).

Or who are we kidding, maybe you just needed that time to do some admin, wash your hair or finally pursue this thing you’ve always wanted to do (because even if you’re drowning, you can’t help it, there’s that voice in your head saying: I gotta do more, I gotta do something that feels, idk, purposeful?).

That is how days and weeks, and sometimes, years go by.

Then maybe, one day, things come crashing down and you can’t hold back your tears, frustration and anger. Bathroom stalls are a safe haven, emails become daggers triggering wounds you thought you had left on a therapist’s couch and you sink into a sea of question marks: How did I get here? Where do I go now?

Or maybe, maybe you walk into a yoga class, full of pure intentions of wanting to move your body, clear your mind.

Then the yoga teacher says something about how we all get stuck sometimes and how that’s ok and how it’s all connected, from our minds to our bodies, and what to do about it.

And by the end of it all, you have left to do is burst into tears because she just described your life.

Then there’s the literal version of being stuck at an airport, stuck between possible natural disasters, global wars and logistical systems that scream “inefficiency”, maybe an indicator that we are not just stuck in our lives, but stuck as a collective?

All these were experiences I got to witness, hold and that were shared with me over the last week from my dearest friends, students and clients.

But you know what?

As I sat down to write this piece today I couldn't help but think:

I have been all of them.

I have felt everything they have felt.

I have been in every single one of their shoes.

And if you're reading this, I know you have too.

I’m feeling my eyes well up with tears as I am typing this because I can feel the weight and the pain of this stuckness in every cell and while I know a newsletter is not going to take that feeling away from you, let me leave you with this:

It’s what I told my friends, my students, my clients.

Think about a doorstop, a thing you wedge underneath a door to keep it from closing. What is it that you’re really doing?

You’re taking away the space around it so it gets “stuck”.

So again: when something is stuck, it means that there is no space around it. 

That is true for the physical world (doors), our bodies (think muscle spasms), but also our minds (“my head is full, I can’t think clearly”).

So, what if instead of saying:

I am stuck,

you would ask yourself:

Where am I lacking space?

Where can I create that space?

(I know this is where it gets tricky because the last thing we want is for this to just be another thing - God, Melanie, now I have to create space too?? It’s a delicate ride, trust me, I know.)

What about this:

Where can I shift my perspective in such ways that it feels like more space?

That’s a powerful first step.

Ok so, how do we tie this to spring and the equinox, you may ask?

Well, isn’t spring just nature taking up more space when she’s ready?

I think so.

Love, just know that, whenever you’re ready to create or take up more space,

I am here.

Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Mel

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Ps. All my newsletters are written by me, not AI (so please flag the typos).

😉

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