I know I'm not the only one

Tell me I’m not the only one who has felt like this, actually, I know I’m not…

Have you woken up in the morning after what you thought was an ok amount of sleep but you felt like you didn’t sleep at all?

It’s not even that you were awake a lot, tossing and turning, no, it was just like, sleep didn’t work?

I have certainly been there, and when it happens I am always reminded that rest is actually multi dimensional.

I hate to break it to you, but sometimes, “Oh, I’m fine, I’ll just go to bed early” ain’t gonna cut it.

Mel, what are you saying…multidimensional?

There’s more than one type of rest.

A lot more.

And when you start thinking about how to rest in different ways other than just taking a nap or sleeping in, you can actually help your overall sense of wellbeing.

I’ll break it down for you in a second but first let me give you this example:

Have you heard about the term “revenge bedtime scrolling”?

(Raise your hand if you’ve done it…no shame, it takes one to know one).

If this expression is new to you, Gemini defines it like this: “the act of intentionally delaying sleep to engage in leisure screen time, such as social media or streaming, because one feels they lack personal time during a hectic day.”

That sound familiar?

Now, one aspect is certainly the urge to want some “me time” when you get home, make dinner and before just going to bed after a long day at work. Otherwise a day can just kind of feel..uhm useless?

(Well, it shouldn’t be and that’s another can of worms…but not one I will open right now).

I truly understand the feeling of that, I just think there is more to it.

Let’s be real, would you actually be able to switch from bright lights, people all round, traffic and noise to just hit the pillow for an early night within an hour or so?

Probably not.

I can’t, that’s for sure.

So what am I supposed to do then???

Yeah..you’re over the hustle and bustle of the day, you just want some quiet time but you’re not ready to fall asleep, so you grab your phone, but that is - if we are all honest - only making it worse.

What you really want is the feeling of rest, letting go, winding down.

And here it is: You want a different kind of rest.

Something that actually makes you feel good and isn't just a quick dopamine hit.

Here’s another example, kind of a silly one but stay with me.

When a candle is burning for hours at a time and the wax is all melted, you can’t just move it to a different place (aka bed) immediately, you have to blow out the flame (aka take away screens or anything that’s overstimulating) and let it cool off so you don’t spill the wax…

You get it, right?

Ok so here are all the different kinds of rest we might need and examples on how to actually fill up on them: 

Let’s start with maybe the most obvious one but also the one we probably take care of the least on a daily basis…

1. Mental Rest

What is it? Relief from cognitive overload and constant thinking.

Why does sleep not always help with this one?

Because a busy mind doesn’t always switch off so easily. Cue: when you lie in bed thinking, wait, did I send that email??

Here’s what to do about it:

• Put most simply: reduce the input.

• Phone-free blocks of time —> and actually stick to it

• Brain-dumping your to-do list —> so you can “place it” safely outside of your brain

• Single-tasking —> actively only let yourself do one thing

• 5-minute “stare out the window” breaks

• Turning off as many notifications as you can

2. Emotional Rest

What is it?

Space to stop performing, pleasing, or holding it together.

Why does sleep not always help here either?

Emotional work is HARD, it drains us more than we like to admit (cue, being a good parent, partner, daughter/ son…) and our emotions live in the body until we release them.

Here’s what to do about it:

• Honest conversations —> say the thing you know deep down you have to say out loud, free it (and yourself with it).

• Saying “no” without over-explaining —> because, yes, it is a full sentence.

• Stream of consciousness journaling —> uncensored writing, no one will read it, just let it flow.

• Spending time with someone you don’t have to impress

• Therapy or coaching

3. Sensory  Rest

What is it?

This is a big one, and one we don’t always think about in this way: Relief from constant stimulation.

Same here, why can't you just go to sleep to "fix" it?

Because our nervous system just can’t process all the information it gets bombarded with. Going to bed with a million tabs open in your brain simply doesn’t work sometimes…

Here’s what to do about it:

• Dim lights in the evening —> return to nature’s ebb and flow of light as much as you can, such a game changer

• No screens (at least) 1 hour before bed

• Silence (as much as your nervous system can take)

• Nature without input —> a walk, a big open window…

4. Creative Rest

What is it?

As much as I believe there is so much healing in creation, the inspiration for the creation needs to come from somewhere. Creative rest is replenishing inspiration instead of producing.

How does this one relate to sleep?

Actually, I think here sleep (IF you get to the point where you find enough deep sleep) might also count as creative rest (and no this isn't science, this is my own life experience). Think: Inspiration is often found in deep states of relaxation, like Einstein doing his best work right before he fell asleep, using the moment he dropped a rock from his hand to the floor so he could catch whatever was moving through him?

Buuut there are other ways to tap into inspiration and find creative rest:

• Visiting galleries

• Reading poetry

• Being in nature

• Listening to music without multitasking

• Simply being with beauty without analyzing it

• In general: allowing yourself to observe and absorb, be more in input vs output mode.

5. Social  Rest

What is it?

This one is crucial: Being around the right people or sometimes, no people at all.

Why the distinction is important?

Being around the wrong people can be very draining, and sometimes what you really need is just to be alone. That’s ok.

How to tap into social rest:

• Time alone without guilt —> because you don’t owe anyone your presence

• Spending time with safe, regulating people

• Leaving events early —> !!!!!!!

• Saying no to small talk —> You don’t have to care about their trip to Spain

6. Spiritual Rest

What is it?

Feeling connected to something bigger, something that’s beyond what we see, hear and touch.

Why is it important?

It doesn’t seem like a priority in many western societies but studies show that spiritual practices or rituals actually contribute to our overall wellbeing and happiness (and no, this doesn’t mean you have to become religious by any stretch of the imagination…)

Here’s how to find spiritual rest (or maybe call it spiritual connection):

• Meditation or prayer —> maybe just a simple affirmation or mantra? That counts!!

• Time in nature —> the most spiritual thing you can do anyway in my very humble opinion.

• Rituals (notice the full moon, journaling before bed, mindfully light a candle, or make your own)

• A deep conversation with a close person about the meaning of life

7. Physical Rest

What is it?

This is what we think of first when we think of rest, which is why I put it last. Rest for the body. It may be the most crucial type of rest because you cannot do anything without your body, but physical rest also gets so much better once you feel rested in all the other areas above. Weird how that works huh?

And yet, why does sleep not always help (enough, (please don't stop sleeping!!))?

Like we said, you can’t go from “marathon mode” to a deep slumber, maybe you're sleeping but your muscles can still be tense.

Here are some things to actually feel more physically rested: 

• Naps

• consistent bedtime and waking time

• Gentle stretching / yin yoga

• Legs-up-the-wall —> especially with slightly elevated hips

• Massage or self-massage

• Slow walks without stimulation

• and my favorite - Yoga Nidra ;) - if you feel inspired (or tired) get it right HERE.

So here it is, my take on the different types of rest and how to actually feel fully rested in all of them.

Let me leave you with this...

As you may have been thinking to yourself while reading - and yes you’re absolutely right because you are an extremely smart cookie - they are all connected and influence each other.

While you may feel more rested in one area of your life and completely exhausted in another, these dimensions do not exist in isolation and  the real magic happens when you feel like your cup is full (-ish, cause yes, I know, I know…) in all of them.

If you feel like you are getting to a point in life where you are very ready to finally feel truly rested in every single dimension of your life…. I got you.

Let's talk about it and book a discovery call right HERE.

I wish you a wonderfully rested week!

Love,

Mel

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Ps. All my newsletters are written by me, not AI (so please flag the typos).

😉

Pps. If you're ready to explore working together - book a discovery call HERE.