If it's not that, I don't want it.

I think it was in a Glennon Doyle podcast where I heard her sister say:

I put the fun in function.

Even though I consider myself to be someone who at least has the capacity of being fun...

I felt that.

I spent this last week on Gran Canaria in Spain, mainly just keeping with my yearly tradition to avoid November in the cold country I call home. But also - in all honesty - I was ready for a change of scenery and really needed a break.

Plus, I craved more space to work on some things that are near and dear to my heart.

But before I drift off and get cheesy, I wanna tell you about this one radical rule I've decided to live by.

Are you a person who would generally call their life, uhm... full?

As in, do you usually have multiple projects going at the same time? And by project, I mean, jobs, households, relationship, kids, dogs, your own sanity....?

No I'm not degrading your relationship or kids to a project, but doesn't life just sometimes feel like that? Like everything is a production, nothing can just be easy... dare I say, fun? 

Anyway, I was there in Las Palmas and the only way to tell you this story is by getting a little vulnerable first, so hang tight.

I used to work in marketing, I obviously love to write, I can come up with campaign concepts faster than you can sing the alphabet and here's the but...

Once I became the "project" that needed to be marketed, all of a sudden it was a whole different ball game.

Why?

I can't direct from behind the camera.

I can't sell my idea to stakeholders.

I can't tell someone to go over it again and come back with a different idea.

Because it's all on me.

Here's the thing, the reason I got into coaching is because I am as convinced that supporting people in living a life from their bodies not their heads is what this world needs, as I am convinced that the sun will come up tomorrow.

I wouldn't have the life I have now if I didn't know how somatic work transforms the way you exist.

I have felt it first hand.

Here’s the problem:

People need to know about it otherwise it's kinda hard to have a business.

Which brings me back to marketing, the thing that I paid my bills with for the first decade of my career...

So you'd think I know what I'm doing, except this time, it's my face in front of the camera.

I'm torn.

Uncomfortable.

Doubtful.

Tiptoeing around this band aid that I just need to rip off.

For some reason, being in a room full of humans guiding them deeper into their own bodies,

...encouraging them to scream it, sigh it, cry it out,

...holding presence for someone's raw emotions as tears stream down their cheeks,

feels easy in comparison. Feels like THAT is what I was made to do.

I tell my clients to name it and feel it so we can change it.

So this is me naming it:

I don't know how to like social media, it comes with so much baggage but it's just the world we live in, I guess?

It feels scary.

I'm afraid to be judged.

And. It's. So. Freaking. Cringy.

This is a taste of the spiral I stormed up in my head more than once.

The next thing I hear is Mel Robbins say this on a podcast (I listen to a lot of podcasts):

If it's cringe, you’re doing it right.

Damn, Mel Robbins, I must be doing it right then?

And yet everything still felt blocked. I kept coming up with ideas, doing research but nothing ever came of it, I was my own worst enemy.

All of the sudden - a little marketing 101 came back to me and I realized: you can have all the facts straight, your research is on point and it still ain’t gonna work.

Why?

Because marketing is emotional.

In other words, if your body is not on board, it’s not gonna happen.

Well, it might for a little while, I’m not trying to pick a fight with the you-can’t-sit-around-and-wait-for-motivation-to-come-to-you-you-gotta-go-and-do-something-and-motivation-will-follow-folks, because they are right.

My point is that if your heart and body is not in it eventually, it is not going to work in the long run.

And I know that for a fact because when it comes to shooting Instagram reels, I have tried and failed, and tried and failed again.

So this week, I tried something different.

I came up with a radical rule that I forced myself to follow:

If it’s not fun, I'm not doing it.

If I can't make it fun, I don't want it.

And I actually think it’s a pretty good rule for life.

Now no, I’m not saying you should just stop doing the dishes or walk out on an argument that you don’t want to have with your partner or your boss "because it's not fun".

But remember all your projects?

Why not apply this rule to just a few of them and see what happens? How can you make them more fun?

• Dance while you vacuum?

• Skip to the bus station in the morning like you did when you were a child?

• Pretend you’re in a cooking show when you’re making dinner?

• Put funny emojis into an email to your coworker, or god forbid revive a cat meme? (Just obviously check who’s cc’d).

Stop putting the fun in function!

And as you add more fun into all your life projects, ask yourself,

what does fun even mean to me?

How does it make me feel?

Why do I think some things are fun and others aren't?

How can I make the ones that aren't more like the ones that are?

Challenge yourself to make the most functional things just fun...

And let’s be real, what is really the consequence of living by this rule? The floors are still gonna get vacuumed if you dance while you do it.

I’m not telling you to avoid the hard stuff. I’m telling you to find ways to make the hard stuff more fun and...

you might not want to hear this but,

if you can't find a way to make even the hardest, most frustrating and annoying thing in your life more fun, then maybe it shouldn't be there?

Maybe then it shouldn’t take up space in your one wild and precious life, as Mary Oliver calls it.

Think about it.

And if you want to talk about it, feel it out, I'm here.

Wishing you a wonderful week!

Love,

Mel

🤍

Ps. All my newsletters are written by me, not AI (so please flag the typos). 😉