Let's talk about hard decisions.

You know that feeling of putting off something important?

You know it’s coming, you know you can’t avoid it but part of you is just not ready to face it?

So you don’t think about it, maybe you even convince yourself it’s not that imortant or you’re really just making too big of a deal out of it.

Then you try to justify the status quo and find all kinds of reasons how you could probably make this work, it’s not really that bad is it?

All the positive aspects suddenly sound so much more convincing.

“But I am making good money, imagine all the things I’d have to give up if I followed my dreams?”

“We’ve been together so long, I can’t just walk away from that?”

“Sure this apartment is small, but the location is unbeatable, who cares it’s so noisy, my kids will get used to it.”

I know that at some point you had your own version of this.

Maybe you do right now.

I know I did.

And I also know that for a long time, if there had been a way not to make that decision.. I would have.

But they just come up over the course of our lives, there’s no getting around it really…

What to study?

Who to marry?

Where to live?

Should I get a dog?

Should I quit?

Should we break up?

Do I even want kids?

I've asked myself all of the above.

I have overthought all of the above.

Truth be told I have made pros and cons lists about all of the above.

Sometimes I have even made decisions based on my pros and cons lists.

And you want to know what?

Those were the worst decisions I made.

Every time, I thought that's what made the most sense, I saw it black on white on my notepad, it was logical, who would not make that same call?

I'll tell you who.

Me, if I had listened more deeply to begin with.

But I didn't.

Why?

Well, my therapist from back then could give you the full report but the short answer is: I was afraid.

And just not ready.

So just to be clear, I stayed in relationships based on a pros and cons list, I stayed in jobs, based on a pros and cons list and part of me wants to say I wish I hadn't but you know what?

I'm glad I did.

I am glad I went through every single version of myself that it took to make that hard decision.

I am glad that I learned a pros and cons list is just a fancy way of saying "I rely on my head more than I trust my body's wisdom".

I am glad that every pros and cons list eventually led me to the courage to do the opposite of what it pointed me towards.

(Because news flash...the second your even consider a pros and cons list, or if you're not a list person, the second you're trying to convince yourself of something... you actually already have your answer.)

Every time that happened, no matter how big or small the decision was, it was only proof that I actually could rely on my inner knowing, there was a part of me, usually the part we have a hard time defining, already knew.

All I had to do, was learn to trust her.

And once I did, boy oh boy did life change...

Now you may ask, yeah but Melanie, how do I know?

How do I know whether it's my head or my heart?

How do I know if it's the part that I can trust?

Well, have you ever just tried asking?

Take three deep breaths with closed eyes and then just...ask?

Pretty sure you'll get an answer. And beyond that there are many tools to explore and ways to go deeper and that's exactly the work I get to do with my clients.

But if you're asking me directly, I will tell you this:

I recently had to make a tough decision.

I knew it was coming. I knew what I got myself into.

When the time came, I didn't rush it, didn't force it, didn't try to get it over with.

I trusted it would unfold. I trusted that I will have the opportunity to say what I needed to say.

Make no mistake, I did take action. I didn't look away (as much as my head still nudged me to and wanted to hide in the status quo).

Whenever I sensed myself being pulled back into my head, I was reminded to trust and that my inner guidance system has never let me down.

The difference is in the lived experience.

You go from scattered, lost, tense, the feeling I would describe as using two used hairbrushes, each to clean out the hair from the other brush (you think it makes sense, but does it?), to this weird, new, almost scary if-it-didn't-feel-so-good, sense of calm.

And trust me when I say, your body KNOWS, and so will you.

I'll leave you with this one harsh but important truth:

You can access that inner knowing (right now, zero doubt about it) but that doesn't always mean it's the easier choice.

In fact sometimes it seems like the impossible one.

But if there's one thing I learned...

Right for YOU, always,

always,

beats hard.

Because looking back,

in the long run it will have probably been much easier than the other thing.

As hard as the decision may be, Love,

please choose it,

if it's truly yours.

And if you'd like support in making that hard decision, or landing on the other side of it, I'm here to support.

One discovery call away, book it here.

Have a great week!

Love,

Mel

🤍

Ps. When in doubt, create a pros and cons list and then do the opposite. 😘

Pps. All my newsletters are written by me, not AI (so please flag the typos). 😉